Supposed to . . .

I know what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to be a good mom. I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be stable. I’m supposed to do what’s right for my kids; what’s best for them. I’m supposed to serve. I’m supposed to help. I’m supposed to teach my kids. I’m supposed to be a good example to the world. I’m supposed to always know. I’m supposed to put aside my own issues. I’m supposed to pretend everything is fine. I’m supposed to be happy. I’m supposed to be more. Sometimes . . . sometimes I am some of those things, when I’m feeling really good and strong and confident. Most of the time I am none of them. I am weak. I am scared. I’m unstable. I do what I can to simply survive moment to moment. I don’t do enough for my kids. I am anxious. I am depressed. I can’t stop my mind from turning, from obsessing. I am selfish. I cry at work in front of my boss. I hurt people I love. I make mistakes. I’m unsure. I am not enough. I am alone. And I hate how I don’t know what to do. So much of the time, I feel stuck, and I don’t know how to get out of it.

2 thoughts on “Supposed to . . .

  1. But you’re strong enough to speak this truth, and that’s beautiful. I think there’s way too much pressure on moms these days to be “perfect” and that’s an unreachable standard. Just long as you’re doing your best and trusting God, seeking His help, that’s enough 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Some of those “supposed to” statements are just not true. The only thing you have to do is your best, and only you know what that looks like for you. I’d wager that your best and my best look very different. Go easy on yourself, sweet friend. Give yourself some grace for not being perfect. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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