Self Checkout and Anxiety

I’ve seen a lot of memes about how much people hate self-checkout lanes at stores. And a lot of people comment about how stupid they are or make fun of them. Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of stores shutting them down. For some of us with anxiety, self-checkout is one of the greatest things on the planet! Because for some of us with anxiety, even having to say “hi” or interact with a complete stranger in any way whatsoever is absolutely terrifying. It may sound stupid to people who have never dealt with real, diagnosed anxiety before, but it’s part of what keeps me from going out more. I’m becoming more and more of a hermit, and I’m becoming more and more okay with that, as I’m only protecting myself from a disorder I never wanted or asked for.

Now, it obviously isn’t society’s job to protect or help me with my anxiety by keeping self-checkout lanes open and available, and I’m also someone who can take a joke and laugh at myself. I simply write this because education is one of the goals of my blog. While I’ll continue to laugh at memes making fun of self-checkout lanes and be understanding of why people dislike them, I also hope this has helped others understand why some of us love them and hope they stick around.

Someone Tells Me to Write

Write
by Tacy Gibbons

Someone tells me to write.

I’m not good enough.
I’ll never be good enough.
Someone tells me to write.

No one will ever read my words.
It doesn’t matter anyway.
Someone tells me to write.

What’s the point?
It won’t go anywhere.
Someone tells me to write.

It hurts. It’s hard.
I don’t know if I have it in me anymore.

Someone tells me to write . . . 

Sometimes it’s my husband encouraging me. Sometimes I think it’s God. Or maybe it’s just my own voice in my head. But someone tells me to write. I don’t know why—if it has to do with depression or something else—but recently it has been hard to write. Even though someone is telling me to do it, I struggle. Maybe it’s because it meant so much to me when I was younger. My ultimate dream in life was to become a published author. While I’ve had a few poems published, it’s not what the dream looked like. Yet there are still so many words and stories in my soul. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s even painful, sometimes I no longer believe in myself at all. And I’m still going to write, when I can.