Are you the kind of person who turns the light on when you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Or are you like me, feeling like you know your way well enough to get there in the dark? You may trip or stumble here or there, but you’re comfortable enough to leave the lights off.
Our lives can be like this, in a variety of ways. I have experienced it personally when dealing with mental illness. I have also seen others fall into the same trap when it comes to their mental health or when dealing with trauma. What’s the trap? Getting comfortable.
I have often compared depression to darkness. For me, it really is like being in the dark, seeing everything with a dark tinge surrounding it. It is coldness. It is hopelessness. It is despair. And yet there have been times when I’ve forgone things I know might help me because I’ve gotten comfortable in my depression. It’s like an old friend. Sure, it’s an old friend who beats me down, gossips about me, tells me lies and stabs me in the back, but I’d rather stick with the friend I know (horrible as they may be) than risk the effort it would take to find a new friend, even if that friend treats me better.
Often, it’s less scary staying depressed, remaining anxious or holding onto trauma than it is putting forth the effort to look for help or to deal with change. Change of any kind can be intimidating and terrifying. Sometimes it’s easier stumbling in the dark than it is to flip the light on, let our eyes adjust to the brightness and see what struggles or difficulties might lie in our path.
One of the purposes of my blog is to help educate. For those who have never had to go through mental illness I hope this analogy helps with understanding. It can be easy to wonder why someone is still depressed or still struggling. It can be easy to think, “Just get over it!” It’s not just that easy. It’s not something to just get over. I do believe in help and in healing. I have written about so many of the ways and things that can help and that can heal. And I also know how hard it can be. I understand the struggle of even wanting to come out of the dark because the darkness has become comfortable and familiar. I think it’s okay to give encouragement and hope. And it’s important to have patience—with others and ourselves.
Breaking the Silence 